Nike!

No.

It is the lack of progression.

Progression is alienating.

To progress or not to progress.

...and, hold on.

What am I scripting about?

Ah, yes... Ahem [clears throat]

I am done with Nike!

I like this assertion, it feels right.
It feels good.
I feel stronger for having said it.

...and you know what?

I mean it this time.
They have gone too far and I cannot stand idly by while this happens to another generation. I mean seriously we have applications on your "phone" -as if that is even the right word- "device" that allow you to take a picture of an object to research the object.

Image search, son!

--Can we stop right there for a moment. Well not stop, but a momentary press the pause button on the conversation.--

This is something that baffles me...

I will have a group of people, in my own generation (let us call them "friends"), who will call me less that resourceful/intelligent if I do not know what an artifact is called. If I do not know the name of piece of material. If I do not have in my archive of common a particular statistic, or summary of research. Yet, there is this thing that I have released/given agency to, the ownership of that task. Which does this for me as a function it's existence. This "phone-device" allows me...

I was sitting on the toilet last week and learned more about the Ottoman Empire from the sky waves going to my "phone-device" than I learned in my History 302: Survey of the Ottoman Empire.

Okay, so I never took that class... but, and, I am sure it exists and some lady is taking it, learning the same information I am gathering from the glowing screen in front of me. She pays $50,000 per year,in un-reconciled debt, and I paid $300 for this device plus $150/month for service...

150?
150?

Really, 150?

Hold on... Fuck you, Verizon!

So there's this glowing screen in front of me that makes video calls from Back to the Future... It can gather information at the speed of input and I have chosen to take the socially acceptable intellectual downgrade because I have outsourced my obscure knowledge,and memory, to its control. In doing so, I am accurate in my statements 98% of time.

(the aforementioned statement withstanding)

Yet, Nike can't seem to make Air Max 90s where the red doesn't uniformly separate from the white. I mean really, it's bleeding.

So, I am done with you Nike!

Hold on.

...Did you see those Camouflage Janoski's with the Lunarlon gum sole? uppers?

I'm getting those, and maybe gray (or is it grey? That "e" vs. "a" is a bastard, I digress) as well... Then that's it.

I'm done with Nike!

...hold on, those Bo Jackson Colorways and Kobe Flyknits come out this Friday.

Okay, I'll get those.

Nike!